Date night. No phones: A Love Story

Friday nights are date night. It’s our weekly tradition, a chance to enjoy each other’s company without the background noise of to-do lists, laundry piles, or someone yelling from another room, “Where did you put …?”

On our most recent outing, my husband casually threw down a challenge: “Leave your phone at home tonight.”

Cue dramatic music.

I blinked. “What if we have an emergency?” I asked, clutching my phone like it was a life raft.

His calm response, “We won’t.”

I couldn’t bear to go cold turkey, so I offered a compromise: “How about I leave it in the car?”Deal.

Off we went to dinner. I placed the phone in the glove compartment with a small internal farewell, like I was lending my favorite book to a friend.

Now, did I miss it during dinner? Not really. But I’ll admit, there were moments I instinctively reached for it, especially when one of us said, “What year did that song come out?” or “Wasn’t she in that other film with… you know, the guy?”

I even mimed Googling once or twice, indicating when I would have used my phone. Still, we had a lovely, largely uninterrupted evening. (For the record: He is never on his phone. He’s the person who gets a text and responds three days later with, “Just saw this.”)

After dinner, I assessed how I felt. Honestly? It was fine.I missed nothing earth-shattering.

The world did not fall apart because I didn’t verify a trivia fact in the moment. And being fully present with my partner? That was the actual win.

It got me thinking, if we ever run out of conversation after almost 20 years of marriage, (hasn’t happened yet), there are so many rich, joyful questions we could ask each other.

Appreciative Inquiry offers beautiful, strengths-based questions that deepen connection and spark meaningful reflection.

So, if you’re heading to dinner and want to put the phones away and keep the conversation flowing, try asking one of these:

Five Appreciative Inquiry Questions for Deeper Connection

1. What do you think makes us a good team?

2. Can you tell me about a time in our relationship when you felt really proud of us?

3.     What do you think we’ve gotten better at over time?

4.     What’s something about our relationship that feels effortless or easy in the best way?

5.     What’s one tradition or ritual that we’ve created that brings you joy?

If you make a decision to go out without your phone, let me know how you make out? Send me an email: aderonke@abwilsonconsulting.com I'd love to learn about your experience.